Jenna (30 Rock Live): "I will slip a nip"

This is me...

That's why they call it "Haiti"!

This "Hate" or "Haiti", (whatever) must be really sick I guess! Or, Friday night was yet another excuse for famous people to get together and sing!...
Unfortunately I did not sing , again! First at Michael's memorial, now this! I was asked to join Madonna's choir and may be I shouldn't have refused now that I come to think of it... All the singers were African-Americans... And I am taller too!
George asked me to answer a phone that kept on ringing during the entire night and so I did!
People offered me lots of money, constantly, but I turned them down some of them less politely than others : "You can't buy me, yeah! I hate you too!"

We are not dating!

It is a lovely image, I know, I am photogenic, I can't help it, everyone tells me that but sorry guys this is not a romantic snap-shot! I was telling Kenneth and he can back me up on this, about the woman you see on the background (well you can see her arm), how she passed me by and did not seem to recognize me! And there is more to that story. I followed her in the ladies room and not even there, in the bright, unflattering lights did she seem to mind who was renewing their lipstick over and over again! Not even a fake attempt to say something normal to approach me, like: "Do you have a tampon?" and appeal to a woman's solidarity!...
All that suiting-me-perfectly-color lipstick at least paid off: I look gorgeous!

Ladies & Gentlemen be prepared for landing! (or should I say take-off?)...

Well it is good to be back!
After a long, sunny, relaxing summer one thing came to my mind! Sequence, feathers, beads, spotlights, music, singing! Ok, maybe more than one! And Diana is a pioneer, wouldn't you agree?
Please notice her outfit and back me up on this: Isn't it time Jenna Maroney added some class to that show?!...

From which balcony?

I am not out to steal anyone's job, my dearest Waldorf & Statler but I have to remind especially Statler that women would do anything to get married and furthermore to have The Most Original Wedding, something that noone has seen before.

United Breaks Guitars

They should be thanking United for breaking their "Taylor" Guitar and sharing their profits...
Wouldn't I be perfect for a stewardess? I should be firing my publicist some time soon...