Damaged Goods: Miss Jenna's speech at the Michael Jackson Memorial Service

Some of my famous quotes...

Jenna: "I called 911. They wouldn't even connect with their celebrity service."
Jenna:"It hurts more than my foot botox to know that he's out there and I can't find him."
Jenna: "Hey, I've gotta miss an hour of rehearsal today 'cause I just found out from my publicist, I've been booked on The View." Pete: "Oh, Jenna, that's great. For the first time in your life, you'll be in a room full of women and you'll be the least crazy one." Jenna: "Ah, I know."
Jenna: "Liz, I'm just worried that I'm going to sound like I don't know what I'm talking about." Liz: "Would Sharon Stone worry about that?"
Jenna: "If the president is so serious about the war on terror, why doesn't he hunt down and capture Barack Obama before he strikes again?"
Jenna: "I'm on a crash diet to get back to my old weight by Friday." Liz: "Well, what diet is going to do that?" Jenna: "Oh, it's the Japanese porn star diet. I only eat paper, but I can eat all the paper I want, so..."