From which balcony?

I am not out to steal anyone's job, my dearest Waldorf & Statler but I have to remind especially Statler that women would do anything to get married and furthermore to have The Most Original Wedding, something that noone has seen before.

United Breaks Guitars

They should be thanking United for breaking their "Taylor" Guitar and sharing their profits...
Wouldn't I be perfect for a stewardess? I should be firing my publicist some time soon...

Associated Chairs

My dear friend Sandy was seated next to me yesterday during Michael Jackson's Memorial and asked me if she could quote me for her article . She really liked my thoughts and I gave her my permission. Rumour has it she had somewhere else to be later and she didn't have time to write her version of the story but don't you think I should be mentioned somewhere? I have to ask Liz about that. Adding this to my list of "tacky" among yellow ties, silver sparkling gloves, etc...

Miss Jenna's speech at the Michael Jackson Memorial Service

Miss Lemon asked me to post this for Miss Jenna:

or did she say mail?

Your secret's not safe with me!

"The late King of Pop pioneered dance moves that looked mechanical and weren't, like the moonwalk, and at least one that looked mechanical and was: The forward-leaning maneuver from his "Smooth Criminal" video. The secret is all in the shoes.

Trying to lean beyond one's center of gravity normally leads to a giant, awkward step forward to retain balance, so to achieve the 45-degree angle he wanted, Michael and his dancers used special shoes as well as a trick in the stage floor. When the time came for the move, a peg-like aperture would protrude from the dance floor. The heel of the dancers' shoes featured a triangular cut out that could be hitched onto the peg, anchoring the dancers to lean much farther forward, and thus blowing the world's collective mind. "

"It' s like spoiling the magic of Christmas to a child ", you would say... After all those years of wondering, I found out how he did it...
Don' t you wanna know too?

Smooth Move...

Yes, the blond little girl is really me...

And he never touched me...

Photo(sh)op

Mary-Louise Parker had regretted showing her breasts on Weeds' finale or so I had read somewhere. I could really sympathize with her! Fame is cruel and she's been exposed to paparazzi and critisism for so many years. I remember I was in my high-school years when Fried Green Tomatoes was released...
But I guess I got it all wrong. She regrets showing her breasts because she prefers exposing her ass!